Be the Girl in the Bathroom
Because we’re all badasses in the ladies’.
Ladies, help me out with this one. You know what’s up.
You’re out for the night. It doesn’t matter what you’re doing. It might be a date. Or perhaps it’s a trip with a girlfriend to gossip. It might even be that you’re going alone like a grown-up.
But there’s something we all know — no matter what life’s like on the outside, we’re all best friends in the bathroom.
Let Me Paint You a Picture
Y’all are always asking what we’re doing in there for so long, so I’mma tell you.
We are saving lives, folks.
Having a total come-apart because your person just dumped you? We got you, sis. Point ’em out. I’mma stab ’em with my nail file. Here, clean yourself up and take my favorite lip gloss. Hey, goddess over there in the super-cute skirt. Go out and get 6 shots of tequila on me, please — the bartender will know what’s up; don’t worry. Sweetheart, wipe your face. Hell no you ain’t getting a lime. You’re tougher than this fool. We shoot tequila straight.
Need to talk about why your mom/dad/sibling/friend/partner is a complete ass? We’re listening. “Girl, what?? They did not!” Lemme give you my therapist’s number. Hell, here’s my number, too. Text me tomorrow and lemme know you’re alright. Let’s do brunch.
Out of toilet paper in your stall? Need a tampon? Wanna bitch about whoever just ruined your [insert special occasion here]?
We. Are. Here. For. You.
The Ladies’ Room Builds Lasting Relationships
It’s actually pretty amazing. I’d be willing to bet that every one of my friends who uses the ladies’ room on the regular has made at least one girlfriend from the experience.
Something magical happens when we walk through those doors. For whatever reason, the bathroom is a safe space for us. When that door closes behind us, we can decompress.
Women tend to judge the hell out of one another in the main lobby, but in the bathroom, we’re all goddesses. It’s us against the world. The ladies’ room is empowering in fantastical ways. That’s part of why we take as many people at once as we can. That and to hold a goddess up when she doesn’t want her ass to hit the seat.
You will never see a room full of women lifting up other women like you do in a ladies’ room. We’ve never met, and we’re in there like we’re childhood besties.
“Babe, I love that top! Where’d you get it?”
“Who does your hair?? That color is gorgeous!”
“Sweetheart… you need to talk about it? My doubly-vaccinated self is here for some hugs if you need one. Bring it in.”
And we mean it.
We treat each other with respect in the ladies’ room. We’re the sisterhood of the traveling pants up in there. And we’ve all got a story where we’ve held a crying stranger or where we’ve been the crying — or puking — stranger. Hell, I still have the hair tie I was given one night. (Shout out to you, KJK!)
What’s So Special about a Bathroom?
When I say the public ladies’ room is magic, I mean it. It’s like Narnia or something. Behind that door is another world. It’s a place where we stop competing with one another and start loving one another as the goddesses we are.
I have a theory about this. Feel free to chime in with yours. But I think that when we leave those main lobbies, dining areas, and dance floors and slide behind that door, we exhale — sometimes quite literally ’cause we’ve been sucking it in all night trying to fit into the flavor-of-the-week beauty standard.
And when we exhale, we stop comparing. It’s a safe space in there. We never think we’re good enough until we get in that bathroom light with another woman who gets it.
But when we get behind that door and we take that breath and we look in that mirror, we get to be purely authentic for a minute.
Scared? Nervous? Excited? Happy? Swooning? Angry? You can be all those things in the mirror and no one’s going to judge you. Need a minute to check in with yourself? You got it. Have a full-on conversation with yourself if it helps.
And if someone walks in on you, they’ll get it, too. They’ll join in and validate your entire emotional experience. It’s f’n beautiful.
Be the Girl in the Bathroom
Imagine it with me, if you will. What if we could all be the girls we are to one another in the bathroom all day every day? Can you imagine what a brilliant world we’d live in? Think about all that we could accomplish together. There would be no stopping us!
We would just be women. Black, brown, white. Trans, lesbian, straight. Single, coupled, confused. We’d just be women.
And I’m definitely not saying that the bathroom is the great equalizer of race, orientation, and so on. What I’m saying is that it’s the opposite — the place of acceptance. It’s the place where we look at one another and say, “The goddess in me sees the goddess in you.”
It’s the place where our differences make us unique and special, but where we’re all still women. And as women, we stand in awe of our differences, not in judgment.
I’d love to challenge every lady out there to be “bathroom you” every day to every other woman — especially drunk you in the bathroom ’cause she loves everybody and everybody loves her. She’s fabulous.
Ladies, we are invincible. Please let us stop tearing one another down. Let’s stop making each other feel small so that someone else can feel big. How about we stop throwing shade on the dance floor when we’re all equal in the bathroom?
I challenge us all — be the girl in the bathroom. Be the girl who’s got everyone else’s back and who lives a life loved by others who have hers.
Can you imagine what we could accomplish if we were all our ladies’ room selves?
Have a tale from the ladies’ room? I’d LOVE to hear it. I think the dynamic is fascinating and that, for so many reasons, we’re all some powerful bitches in there. Please share your memories in the comments below. I can’t wait to read them!
